


Just a Jungle

by Toastyquinn



Category: Homestuck
Genre: ...yup, Enjolras Was A Charming Young Man Who Was Capable Of Being Terrible, Jake's island, M/M, That last tag was something I found and thought was hilarious, This was basically me just trying to write a story with the title in it as many times as possible, aka hellmurder island, also there are mentions of James Cameron's "avatar", and "the last song", bluh, i think I succeeded, it has nothing to do with the story, just so you know, that one, the one with all the lusii roaming around, which is a crappy one by the way, yeah - Freeform, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 02:24:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1801930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toastyquinn/pseuds/Toastyquinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he had invited you to his island, you'd thought that it was "just a jungle", no big deal. You'd walk past some trees, watch some (probably really shitty) movies with your boyfriend, and then the weekend would be over and you'd have to go home.</p><p>Little did you know, Jake's island wasn't "just a jungle", like you'd thought.</p><p>He had only told you that he'd lived in a jungle, though.</p><p>You could picture it well enough. Trees tall enough to touch the sky, vines and green plants everywhere, maybe some animals. He'd told you that the weather was pretty humid, which was a change from your usually dry, Texas weather patterns, if only for the heavy presence of water in the air. </p><p>How bad could it be? After all, it was "just a jungle", right?</p><p>(Warning: Garbage)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Jungle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RoSH (RoSH95)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoSH95/gifts).



> For RoSH (RoSH95), who likes dirkjake for the same reasons I do, and thinks my writing is actually good. Cheers to you, friend, you are awesome!

You name is Dirk Strider, and you are really out of shape.

It's not that you're overweight, no. If anything, you could really use to gain some weight, because toothpicks think you're skinny. 

The problem is that, although you may be strong, and you can flash-step faster than any other Strider, you just aren't fit. This wouldn't be such a big deal, if your boyfriend were anyone other than Jake English.

When he had invited you to his island, you'd thought that it was "just a jungle", no big deal. You'd walk past some trees, watch some (probably really shitty) movies with your boyfriend, and then the weekend would be over and you'd have to go home.

Little did you know, Jake's island wasn't "just a jungle", like you'd thought.

He had only told you that he'd lived in a jungle, though.

You could picture it well enough. Trees tall enough to touch the sky, vines and green plants everywhere, maybe some animals. He'd told you that the weather was pretty humid, which was a change from your usually dry, Texas weather patterns, if only for the heavy presence of water in the air. 

How bad could it be? After all, it was "just a jungle", right?

Wrong. Oh man, were you ever wrong. The lush, green forest with tall trees, you had expected. The foliage and flora lying in just about every place imaginable, you had expected. 

The animals, however, were something else -- something completely unknown to humankind.

When the helicopter dropped you off, the jungle was calm. You had noticed that the guy who flew you here was uneasy, and no sooner than you could get out with your backpack did he leave.

You had looked around at the vast copse of trees, wondering how on earth you were ever going to find him. Considering the fact that it was Jake you were talking about, and factoring in your pretty crappy luck, you will probably wander aimlessly through the forest for three hours, and then Jake will chance upon you by accident.

If it meant seeing him sooner, you're willing to risk it whatever's in those trees.

After all, it's "just a jungle", and there probably won't be anything there that your katana can't handle.

You tread carefully as you make your way between trees, your senses on high alert, just in case you hear him. You soon notice that there are no footprints on the green forest floor. Come to think of it, there is no sign that any life whatsoever, animal or human, has been traipsing through here.

You aren't a tracker or anything, but this new development strikes you as odd, to say the least.

You press on, determined to find your boyfriend, and also getting a little apprehensive about this place. You hear a noise, a rustling sound in the canopy, and you carefully look upwards. The leaves look to be extremely large from where you're standing, but you don't see anything in them that could be dangerous.

You keep walking.

The rustling continues, but you tell yourself that it's probably just some birds, or maybe some sort of monkey or something that's native to this island. Nevertheless, your pace starts to pick up. You aren't walking fast because you're scared, you're just... trying to get some exercise.

Yeah...

Suddenly, you hear... something, in the distance. It's faint at first, but it slowly grows louder with each passing second. You don't turn around, even if the crashing sound seems to be coming from far behind you.

Basically, it sounds like something utterly enormous is lumbering through the jungle, ripping through vines and trampling anything in its path. You tense up hearing the monstrous thing getting closer.

When it sounds like it could be in view, you turn on your heel, whipping around to find-

Oh.

You aren't entirely sure what exactly this creature is. It's white, and it sort of looks like a tiny bull, mixed with a fly. Your head angles sideways in confusion, and the little creature flutters its tiny wings at you before zooming away like a bat out of hell.

Why did it leave so fast? More importantly, when did the sky get so dark?

You check your watch. It shouldn't be dark yet, it's only noon. A thought occurs to you. It isn't the sky getting dark. You remember the humongous beast you heard trumping through the underbrush. You know exactly what's going on.

The sky isn't dark.

It's a shadow.

You tentatively look up, and yup, just as you thought, there are two feet. The enormous animal, as far as you can tell, is also chalky. Your eyes move up a little to the ankles, before snapping back down as it makes an odd clicking noise. 

You have to think fast, this thing isn't going to just wait for you to start moving.

You cast your eyes way up, looking right into the thing's eyes. Just as you had thought, it's entirely ivory, but it looks nothing like the bull you saw earlier. Fuck, this island is too terrifying to stay stoic.

This creature, oddly enough, looks like a crustacean. It was crab-like claws, and a thick, hoary carapace surrounds it, covering its gargantuan form with a substance as strong as bones. This "crab" is almost as tall as the trees themselves, looking down on you and waiting to strike.

You tear your eyes away and book it.

You run, faster than you ever have before, and quite possibly for your life. All the while, the monster lumbers after you. You look back too often, almost running into trees as you go. Your heart is pounding in your chest, which feels like someone lit it on fire, and statistics show that if you keep running like this, your legs are gonna give out.

Sadly, they don't get the chance, because you trip over a stray vine.

You leg is caught in vines, which also seem to be covered in thorns, and your leg is leaking blood onto the black jungle earth because of it. You struggle and twist this way and that, but only manage to get even more tangled as the sharp needles shred through different parts of your skin.

Your leg probably looks like ribbons, now.

You reach to your back to grab your katana, only to find out that it isn't there. You vaguely remember flinging it behind you at the creature while you were running. You don't even think you hit it.

Once again, you hear the crab coming before you see it, your eyes trained on the thorny vines creating gashes in your calf. You look up at the giant invertebrate, desperation and terror in your eyes. It will most likely either eat you, or squash you.

Either way, you are screwed.

All of a sudden, you hear the sound of a gunshot, followed by what you're pretty sure is a bullet whizzing past your head. The metal cylinder embeds itself in the carapace of the crab-like thing, causing a small amount of crimson to trail down from the hole.

You feel a hand at the back of your shirt, and you are tugged backwards as the animal screeches in anger.

"Jake!? Where were y-"

Your boyfriend covers your mouth, cutting you off. He puts one finger to his lips, silently telling you to be quiet, and releases you. As soon as he does, you put your back against the tree and watch him.

Jake looks the same as ever.

He's wearing shorts and his skull shirt, as always. His belt has a gun holster on either side, but they're empty, the pistols being in Jake's hands at the moment. You boyfriend holds the guns up towards the sky, his head peeking out around the side of the wide tree.

What he does next is both courageous, and and incredibly reckless.

Jake English runs a few steps away from the tree and holds both guns up at the monster. He then begins to fire madly, as fast as the pistols will allow, before the only thing that happens when he pulls the trigger is a clicking sound.

"Oh, fiddledickens!", Jake yells before putting his pistols away in their holsters.

He grabs your hand and sprints though the jungle, practically dragging you behind him. Your vision is hazy, and you're running purely on adrenaline at this point, but you don't stop. You don't really know what is happening right now, and not just because of the copious amounts of blood you've lost.

The next thing you remember is Jake standing in front of you, a concerned look on his face.

Your boyfriend is holding your shoulders steady. You are apparently sitting down. Why are there two of him? Not that you're complaining, of course. Just admiring the view. The rational part of your brain seems to think this is odd, but you don't see anything wrong with it. 

When you try to stand up, he gently pushes you back down again.

"Now, now, chap. You've lost quite a lot of blood. You aren't about to go anywhere, you're staying right here until I can properly fix you up all dandy again," Jake smiles.

"What... was that thing?", you ask bluntly.

"Oh, that? Honestly mate, if I had any clue, I'd have told you! Unfortunately, I have no idea what those things are. There are loads of them around the island, and that kind isn't even the worst of 'em! I get into all kinds of scrums and fisticuffs with things like that, and bigger ones, too! Once, there was this dragon, and it-"

"Jake, if it were up to me, you would be living in Texas right now. Do not make me make you leave your home because I'm afraid you'll get eaten by something out here. You living somewhere this dangerous scares the shit out of me," you interrupt, glaring at him through your shades.

"Oh shucks buster, you're making me blush! It's nice to know that Mr. Stoic gets worried about me! Wouldn't want you to start becoming more machine than man again, Dirk! So, how are you feeling? Little woozy?", Jake asks.

"Little bit of major blood-loss, a traumatic memory of being chased by giant, nightmare-worthy monster around your island. Nah, I'm fine. And by fine, I mean you better have loads of ammo and a sword lying around, because we're going monster hunting," you deadpan.

"I try not to provoke the beasts living ten feet away from my doorstep. As a matter of fact, I have more than loads of ammunition, and I might have some sort of sword somewhere around here. Besides, you'll be here for the whole weekend, so we'll have lots of time for monster hunting, but right now, we need to help you with your whole blood-loss conundrum," he perks up.

"Woo fucking hoo."

Jake made you drink two full bottles of water and gave you another one to get started on before he deemed you alright enough to even move. Next, he disinfected and patched up your wounds, which hurt like a bitch. After that, the two of you sat down together on his bed and talked.

"I still think that James Cameron's Avatar was cinema gold," your boyfriend insists once again.

"Nah, babe, you got it all wrong. That movie was crap, and you- well the sad part is that you don't even know it. It really is a tragedy," you countered.

"At least I can appreciate fine cinema when given the chance. You can't sit still through five minutes of a movie without fidgeting or getting up and building a robot or something," Jake wagered.

"Please, you don't have any 'fine cinema' anywhere on this island. You don't even have decent cinema. Shit is so indecent. Better not come in the room, those movies are getting dressed. Do you even know how modest movies are, Jake?"

"I haven't the slightest idea, Dirk. Please, do educate me on just exactly how modest these films actually are."

"The answer is hella modest, babe," you smirk. "And I bet I could finish a movie with you without fidgeting or building anything. I could totally do it, scouts honour," you drawl.

This is a complete lie.

"Dirk, that is a complete lie!", Jake giggles.

Goddammit.

Still, determined to get what you know is coming to you, you turn to Jake and continue the incredibly unbelievable lie, "Let's make a bet, shall we? If I can sit through any movie of your choice, without getting impatient or bored or fidgety, you owe me a kiss. Right on the lips."

"Alright, but what if I win? What if you can't do it, what do I get then?"

"If you win, I owe you a kiss."

"Fine, then. You've got your self a deal, chap!"

You would have expected him to pick some action movie. Then, at least, it would be somewhat entertaining, even if both you, and your sunglasses could predict what would happen next. Instead of that idea, he picks "The Last Song". 

You know that terrible romance movie with Miley Cyrus and her dad in it? Yeah, it's that one.

You only last about five seconds before to get bored. You end up with half of your torso hanging upside-down over the edge of the bed, your legs flailing lazily in the air. Goddammit! Your sunglasses fell off.

Jake stops the movie, smirking as he comes closer to the edge of the bed, "Well, Strider, it looks like I've won."

"This is true," you reply, a similar smirk also present on your face as well.

You sit up, grabbing Jake by the shoulders. He wasn't expecting this at all, especially as you push him down on his back in a successful straddling position. You kiss him, deep and hungry, partly because he's your boyfriend, but mostly because you haven't seen him in a month. You don't know how you survived a week.

Jake gives in as soon as your lips are on his, kissing you back with just as much force. His arms go around your neck, and into your perfectly sculpted hair. You couldn't care any less, at the moment, nor could you give a fuck about your missing shades.

And anyway, hiding your feelings from Jake is useless. He would only ask you anyway. Plus, he really likes your orange eyes, even though you think his emerald ones are much better.

You continue to let your tongues mingle, tasting him. He was still the same. Jake English hadn't changed a bit, and you're incredibly glad for that. You wouldn't want him to be different every time you saw him. Sure, you want him to grow, get stronger, but you like him just the way he is.

After a few minutes, you broke apart for air, laying beside each other and panting.

You took Jake's hand in your own, and he laced his fingers through yours. You look left, towards him, and he gives you a dashing smile. You both watch the ceiling for a while.

Jake spoke first, "Dirk?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you sleep beside me tonight?"

"Of course! Who else is gonna keep me safe from whatever's out there?"

Jake chuckled at that, and snuggled into you. You pulled the covers over your boyfriend and yourself, putting your arms around him. He scoots closer, tangling your legs together and nuzzling under your neck, head resting on your shoulder.

Once all the fidgeting is over, you two are about as close as you can possibly get.

Jake falls asleep before you do. You look down at him with drooping eyelids. He looks so peaceful, snoring softly against your chest. You kiss the top of his head. The peck embedding itself into his raven locks, before drifting off to sleep yourself.

 

"Come on, Dirk! Let's go! We've got an adventure to get on with!", Jake beams excitedly.

You make your way over to him, hopping on one foot. "We can't go until I have my shoes on, Jake. You you want me to step on a thorn and cut myself?", you ask, feigning offended. "Besides, I don't see why you're so eager to get out there, considering you live here and can leave whenever you want," you sigh.

"But Dirk, this is your first time on the island! You haven't seen the sights! I could take you to the place where my grandma used to live! Ooh, or I could take you to the volcano! It's active, so it makes for the jammiest of adv-"

"Jake, what about all the monsters?", you cut him off.

"Oh, they won't be a problem for us! Besides, it's just a jungle!", you boyfriend giggles before leading you out the door.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, I have had this idea for a really long time, but I've been extremely busy with this thing called life. Not that I really have one, but still. I hope that my characterization didn't suck (but it probably did, because I can't write Striders and I'm not British) and I thank you all for reading this!
> 
> (If you have any prompts or ships that you want me to write, send me them!)


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